yawn

Yawn...


I believe that I love sleep

much more than anybody I’ve ever

met.

I have the ability to sleep for

2 or 3 days and

nights.

I will go to bed at any given

moment.

I often confused my girlfriends

this way—

say it would be about onethirty

in the afternoon:

“well, I’m going to bed now, I’m

going to sleep…”

most of them wouldn’t mind, they

would go to bed with me

thinking I was hinting for

sex

but I would just turn my back

and snore off.

this, of course, could explain

why so many of my girlfriends

left me.

as for doctors, they were never

any help:


“listen, I have this desire to

go to bed and sleep, almost all

the time.

what is wrong with

me?”

“do you get enough exercise?”

“yes…”

“are you getting enough

nourishment?”

“yes…”

they always handed me a

prescription

which I threw away

between the office and the

parking lot.

it’s a curious malady

because I can’t sleep between

6 p.m. and midnight.

it must occur after

midnight

and when I arise

it can never be

before noon.

and should the phone ring

say at 10:30 a.m.

I go into a mad rage

don’t even ask who the caller

is

scream into the

phone: “WHAT ARE YOU


CALLING ME FOR AT THIS

HOUR!”

hang

up…

every person, I suppose, has

their eccentricities

but in an effort to be

normal

in the world’s

eye

they overcome them

and therefore

destroy their

special calling.

I’ve kept mine

and do believe that

they have lent generously to

my existence.

I think it’s the main reason I

decided to become a

writer: I can type

anytime and

sleep

when I damn well

please.

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    [title] => yawn
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